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There is an old saying in the West that says that if the preacher talks too much about stealing, better sneak out a little early, race home and lock the cellar!

The same holds for the good old boy that says, Ah, we don’t need to have a contract. You can trust me. The most innocent reasons for putting something in writing are that frankly each of us forgets, changes our minds or some folk just plain lie!

Robert Ringer famously said in the 70’s, If you have it in writing, you have a prayer. If you don’t have it in writing you just have air! Sadly, old Bobby was right more times than wrong.

A Contract is a meeting of the minds. When two people finally have that, it means that they think the same thing, or at least at that moment in time they think that they think the same thought! So a good thought is to write that good thought down in black and white so both parties can look at it. When you both see it in those bold letters and it is really what you both were thinking, then you really do have a contract. The final touch is when each of you put your John Hancock’s on the dotted line.

Then in the future when your partner decides that he doesn’t remember it the way you do, each of you can pull out that paper and refer to it to refresh your aging memories. Of course, you keep a copy in your 40-ton vault just in case your partner still doesn’t agree ‘cuz that’s what courts are for! Besides, we want to fall into the status quo.

The US has 5% of the world’s population, 95% of the world’s attorneys and 98% of the world’s litigation. And if you were to sneak a peak at the stats, I’m sure we’d find that a goodly part of that is split between New York and California! (quote me and I’ll deny it!) So don’t worry, sue him. You’ll be right at home in good company.

Most all of us want to think the other person is honest and wants the best, or at least is a straight shooter, (the exception, of course, is if you are in the crosshairs of his very large rifle scope!). But thinking that someone thinks what we do and will continue thinking that way is rather dicey.

Ever played that game where you all sit in a big circle and you whisper something in the person’s ear to your right. That person in turn repeats what he thought he heard to the person on her right, and so on around the circle. The rule is that no one can repeat themselves. Each one has to repeat once what he thought he or she heard.

When the last person repeats what he heard to you and you tell the group the two statements the group usually rolls around in laughter! Remember that game? Of course you do! It’s crazy and that’s why we have courts! That’s why we have everything worth remembering exactly put down in writing and witnessed.

Some of the kindest, sweetest people I have ever known have said, OK, great I’ll have my attorney draw up an agreement. Actually it was a compliment. Those kind of people are unique and usually those contracts gather dust in my active files.

It’s the oily guy with the new porcelain smile and his $3,000 suit paid for by his last victim that says, Ah we don’t need to have a contract. You can trust me…NOW That’s when I sneak out early, race home and lock the cellar!

Scott McGregor is the founder of http://www.Doppelit.com, the Entrepreneur Connection. He is considered The Consummate Entrepreneur, started companies when it was impossible and financed companies when there was no money for nearly 50 years. His mission is to show other Entrepreneurs that they CAN!

Before I share with you how to disagree without having an argument, I want to ask you a question. Are you a peacemaker or a peace breaker?

In case you are wondering, being a peacemaker does not mean that you let people walk all over you, and it does not mean that you never offer your opinion or say how you feel about something. It simply means that you find a peaceable solution.

It really is possible to disagree without having an argument, here are some keys to help you avoid arguments and keep the peace.

Disagree respectfully. People handle disagreements better when you don’t make them feel as if their opinion is ridiculous or doesn’t matter.

Disagree wisely. If you are going to disagree with someone, you need to do it wisely. Think through how you will disagree before you open your mouth. The key to peace in disagreement is how you express your opinion.

Do not try to change the other person’s opinion. Be careful that you do not move into manipulation and try to get the other person to agree with you. You do not have to try and change their opinion, simply state your own.

Allow people to have a different opinion to yours. Say what you think and leave it at that. It is important that you allow people to have their own opinions. Give people the freedom to be who they are and think what they think.

Search for a compromise. Consider that your opinion might be no more right than theirs and aim to find a solution that you are both reasonably happy with.

Give up your right to be right. Sometimes you need to allow someone to go ahead and do something their way even when you strongly disagree. When you can do that and keep a good attitude, you will have less conflict.

Given time you will develop your own ways of disagreeing without arguing. The first step is being aware of the value of learning how to disagree without arguing. The key to a peaceful outcome is to respect other people enough to allow them the freedom to disagree.

How can you be a peacemaker without letting people walk all over you? Find ways of respecting other people’s opinion without feeling that you need to change your own. When you allow other people the freedom to be themselves and show more respect for their opinions you will find that you can disagree without having an argument.

If you struggle with anger, just click this link to a coaching guide that will help you to develop strategies to defuse anger and hostility. http://www.christianlifecoaching.co.uk/dealing-with-anger.html

You will find more coaching articles at http://www.christianlifecoaching.co.uk

Think you’re underpaid and deserve more money but you’re not quite sure how to go about it? Does the thought of going to your boss with your hand out leave you sweating and stressed? Read on about four suggestions about how to ask your employer for a raise.

Be Prepared – Just because you show up on time and do the job you’re being paid to do does not qualify you for a raise. Start by pulling out your job description and make a list of all the tasks you’ve been doing that aren’t listed. If someone has left your company, and you have taken on their responsibilities in addition to your own, that will go a long way in justifying your request for a wage increase. Make a note of any special projects that you led or participated in. Include initiatives that you implemented that saved the company money, or increased sales. If you’ve been attending night school or have taken classes online that are beneficial to your position, be sure to include them in your pitch.

Be Realistic – Do some research as to what a position such as yours pays in your area. This should give you a good idea whether or not your current wage is above or below the norm. Remember that pay scales vary across the country and what is an acceptable wage in a large urban center may not be realistic in a small town. If you have knowledge of the company’s financial position, take that into consideration. You don’t want to be asking for more money on the heels of four consecutive quarters of losses. Have a figure or a percentage increase in mind ahead of time.

It’s all in the timing – Asking for a raise the day after the team from head office has departed and everyone in the office is stressed beyond belief may not be in your best interest. And if you’ve just attended a cost cutting seminar, keep your request under wraps until the dust has settled. Pick a time that is favorable to you, such as at the conclusion of your successful project. Another great time to ask for a raise is during an encouraging and flattering employment review.

Don’t let it get personal – Your boss doesn’t care that you have credit card bills that need paying or that your car needs a new muffler. Those are your responsibilities, not hers. Never, ever, bring your personal life into a wage negotiation.

Negotiate – Once you’ve confidently stated your case, and backed it up with documentation, state what you feel is an appropriate level of pay. If your boss turns you down flat, be direct and ask her what she feels is suitable. Don’t forget about compensation other than an increase in salary. Explore options such as increased vacation time with pay, sick leave, a bonus structure or additional company paid benefits.

Good luck!

This article was written by a Shawn Wilson, a member of the customer support team at Datepad, where internet dating is always free. http://www.datepad.com, a free internet dating site.

Good communication is important in all areas of life, but it’s especially crucial for an entrepreneur. My goal for this book report is to distill the information I found most useful, and leave you with strategies that you can utilize immediately.

In her newly updated book, Sonya Hamlin begins by reminding us to consider the listener/s very carefully before any important meeting or public presentation.

First, consider the listeners’ generation and background, as this affects their perceptions and thinking significantly. Of course, there are some gross generalization going on here, so I’d consider each person or group individually, while keeping generational and background differences in mind.

Next, Ms. Hamlin urges us to make a “pre-think” chart, before any important meeting, speech or presentation. Because we’re generally programmed for our own interests and survival, taking time to examine our own, goals, emotions and expectations; as well as our listener’s, will help create win-win situations.

A Pre-think Chart Will:

1. Give you a basic framework for collecting your thoughts in a predictable, orderly fashion
2. Organize your insights so that you can figure out what and how you should communicate
3. Help you understand what to expect and why
4. Reveal how the other side’s issues compare with your own
5. Lead you to productive techniques and answers

To Create the Chart:

1. Ask yourself: “What do I want to happen in this meeting?” and make an honest list of all of your goals.
2. Based on what you know about your audience (or what you know about human nature and people’s needs and goals), project yourself into his/her/their position. Perhaps you know the person/people you will be speaking to, and have a sense of their goals or desires. Whether you do or not, list all the goals your audience might have.
3. Emotions affect everything we do, yet we don’t often consciously look inside ourselves to find out how we really feel about things. What we say and do springs as much from that hidden subjective place of needs and feelings, as from our more objective goals. Ignoring or denying our feelings can make us behave irrationally, and not in our own best interest. Become clear on, and write out your emotions about your upcoming encounter.
4. Put yourself in your audience’s shoes and list their probable emotions as well. Being empathetic to them in this way, may give you a new perspective on what to say and how to say it.
5. Past experience has given us a certain ability to foresee and predict. Listing your expectations helps you to judge whether you’re on track with what you want to say, alerts you of your own attitude, and allows you to adjust it. Often negative expectations inhibit our ability to facilitate a desired outcome in our encounters, so being conscious of these will help you to more consciously plan you want to say.
6. Listing your listeners’ expectations can help you to avoid being too predictable and boring. Now you can use the element of surprise to get their attention, energize the meeting, and elicit a more honest reaction.

Address Anger, Hostility, or Other Negative Reactions

Because dealing with anger or hostility is unpleasant, we tend to pretend it’s not there, and not address it. Or sometimes we get defensive, or feel like it’s our fault. The problem is exacerbated, and our chance of reaching our desired outcome is diminished.

Instead, the author recommends: “When you see it, deal with it. Say it’s there”. Usually this will help the other person recognize what’s happening, and start explaining the reason behind it. It will be much easier to proceed after clearing the air.

Closure

1. Recap and clarify what you spoke about or agreed on.
2. After a meeting, follow up in writing. Send an email detailing what you’d agreed on, what should happen next, who will do what, dates and times, and when you’ll follow up with each other.
3. End on a high note. The final exit lines will affect how the other person/people remember the meeting or presentation.

I found the above information and advice from How to Talk so People Will Listen, to be relevant to my day to day business communication. I hope they are helpful for you as well!

Emilie Nottle is a graphic/web designer, online strategist, and principal at Zooop Design – a full service graphic and web design firm. If you’re ready to make the most of your online presence, automate your marketing efforts, and grow your biz, subscribe to her monthly eZine here: http://www.zooop-design.com/subscribe_info.html.

Conflict in the workplace, assuming it is an actual pitched battle between employees – fights on the loading dock for instance, or between supervisors who start malicious rumors about one another, is easy to see. Even so the dollar cost of such obvious conflict is rarely measured.

Other, much more subtle forms of conflict in workplace, such as intimidation or bullying are never measured. Not only does this sort of conduct often become “he said – he said” with the taking of sides the only result, it is usually not seen by management as conflict in the traditional sense, so not attempt to resolve it takes place.

The powers that be wait patiently on the sidelines until it all blows over or until there is some other reason to step in and make a personnel decision. Workplace conflict resolution is applied, and applied sparingly I might add, often as a last resort – when it should have been the very first step.

No matter if your workplace looks like WWI, with everyone dug in to their own trenches firing volley’s across a wasteland of desks, cubicles, warehouses, and fields, or if everyone is so polite to each other it’s disgusting – while sniping behind their backs, one thing is clear. The behavior is wasting time, everyone’s time, and time is money after all.

Since it’s often impossible to tell how much or how little is going on inside someone’s head, maybe your people are simply conflicted about their relationship at home. and that has caused them to ’shut down’ – they look productive, but nothing is happening. The bottom line results are the same – they are wasting their time on the job and your money.

I am no accountant so ask yours how much actual money is erased directly from your organization’s bottom line when two employees can’t or won’t work together cooperatively. There is the money you were paying them at the time they were not productive, that’s a given.

What about the money you lose because the people who report to them can’t complete their tasks because they have not received the results these two individuals are squabbling over. There are also all the indirect costs that account for another 30% of payroll or more. Then imagine a couple of these ongoing conflicts taking place somewhere with someone all the time.

As tough as business is right now I am amazed that you have not picked up on this and that your employees are not doing everything possible to work together effectively. I am flabbergasted by some of the stories I hear, people just unwilling to work together while their company is struggling to survive. And how supervisors and business owners are doing nothing to measure the actual cost of wasted time.

Be sure to tell your accountant that when calculating the organizational cost of wasted time, that they should be conservative with their estimates. A cost of conflict calculator will consider all the variables you input in order to generate its results. If they’re not very conservative – their results will be so large as to be mind-blowing, and if you try to present them to your Board or your employees you will lose credibility. No one will believe the numbers.

When the numbers look too big your employees will either discount them as not being possible, just your accountant over reacting to the way things always are around here or they seem too big to actually do anything about. When that happens, getting buy-in for whatever corrective action you might want to take becomes even more difficult.

When it come to the real financial cost of wasted time in the workplace, it s an eye opening experience when you or your accountant measures it for the first time.

Managing Differences is a practical guide for reducing the cost of workplace conflict. If you want to reduce the cost of unresolved workplace conflict, go to http://www.FamilyBusinessCoflict.com click on the book cover and listen to the 1st Chapter free via streaming audio.

Placing collection calls to patients with overdue accounts probably is not at the top of your favorite thing to do list. However, it is a reality that your practice is a for profit entity and therefore, cash flow is vital. I have listed a few helpful tips to not only make your collection calls more effective but hopefully more enjoyable for everyone.

Tip #1: Be prepared before you place your phone call.
Before making your next collection call, take some time to compile a list of possible excuses and good rebuttals. Create a collection agreement and develop your structured message. The message will allow you to remain in control of the conversation. It also prevents you from being at a loss for words if the patient tries to give you the run around. At the morning meeting you may need to alert your team that you will be unavailable during the time you are placing the calls. In our experience, if you have to place your patients on hold, you not only lose control of the call, but often times they simply hang up.

Tip #2: Patient Specific Preparation. Before making the call, be sure you have the specifics of the debt. What is the exact amount owed, terms, date the service was rendered, and, if you are accepting assignment what the status of the claim is. One of the better techniques for reducing your workload is to get your patients to research their claims with their insurance companies.

It also helps if you know the patients history with your practice. What is their payment record? If they have always paid on time, maybe the statement was never received, or there is a dispute involved. If payments have been getting slower month by month, it is possible that they have a cash flow problem. Remember, if they are having a family hardship then you want to position yourself to be their advocate. You can be firm, and still empathetic and fair.

Tip #3: Check your attitude at the door. Your attitude has a strong impact on how you handle the patient and how they respond to you. If you were irritated on a prior call, and you carry that anger into the next one, the patient is bound to pick up on this and mirror back to you the same level of irritation. Before picking up the phone for the next call, take a few minutes to relax. Get things in perspective. Keep in mind that you can not make them pay you, so getting aggressive or having a punitive tone will not allow for success. We teach our students to charm the cash out of them and not to berate it out of them.

Tip #4: Address the patient by name throughout the conversation. This shows respect on your part and demands attention from them.

Tip #5: Make the debtor right, even when they are wrong. This does not mean agreeing with what they are saying, but rather validating it. When given a ridiculous complaint, learn to say, “I can understand why you feel that way or I can certainly see how something like that might happen”. This is a way to avoid a negative dialogue and helps maintain open lines of communication.

Understanding their point of view, even as you share yours, will disarm the patients defensiveness.

Tip #6: Stay focused. Some patients will try to get you off track by complaining about their service, or somehow shifting the blame to you for their delinquency. Be polite, but always bring them right back to the point of your call.

Tip #7: Do not be manipulated. A screaming patient could be using their adult temper tantrum as a ploy to get you upset and end the conversation. At the very least, you are not going to get anywhere with someone who is mad. If a patient starts yelling, stay calm and do not interrupt. If you interrupt them more than likely they will rewind like a tape recorder and you will have the pleasure of listening to them twice. Try reminding them that you cannot help resolve the situation if they are yelling. If that does not work, you might say something like, THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT A GOOD TIME FOR YOU. WHEN CAN I CALL YOU BACK? If they are abusing and are using obscene language, hang up and proceed to the next step in your collection system.

Tip #8: Get a commitment. A call that does not result in a commitment from the patient is a wasted call. Make sure you control the call. Do not ask, when can you get back to me on this? Rather say, “Will you be calling me by Wednesday?” Do not hang up the phone without summarizing with the patient the results of the call. What was their commitment? What are your expectations and what will be the result if they are not met? Emphasize the urgency of the matter. It is easy for the patient to forget your call as soon as they put down the receiver, especially if they do not think you were really concerned about the outcome.

Tip #9: Review your collection system and your state laws. Most of our practices discover that 85% of the patients who owe them money pay on time. If your account receivables have less than 85% in the zero to thirty categories you will want to review your collection agreement.

Tip #10: Statements with notes on them do not work! Many offices resort to placing red stickers on statements or sending letters vs. placing a phone call. This is not only expensive but ineffective.
We all want our practices to be very patient centered. So your collection calls are actually a wonderful way of enhancing or putting boundaries on a relationship. Remember, that these contacts should not be unpleasant for you or your patient. Good luck!

(c) 2009
Cathy Warschaw, Director
Warschaw Learning Institute

http://www.WarschawLearningInstitute.com

Dental Office Management Online Courses
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No matter how hard we may try, there’s just no way to avoid some difficult conversations. However, there are positive things you can say and do to help you handle them better.

Your first response may be to change the subject when faced with a difficult discussion. This won’t solve the problem or heal the hurt that caused the situation in the first place. It’s better to take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, and face the difficulty now rather than later.

Remember it’s not your job to fix the situation unless you were directly involved. People sometimes just need a friend to listen when they’re going through tough circumstances. They really don’t want you to fix things for them.

Being available to listen is sometimes the best way to show your friend that you care.

If the situation requires you to talk with someone going through difficulties, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What would you want a friend to say to you if you were in that situation? In all likelihood, they would like to hear the same thing.

Here are some positive ways to handle difficult conversations:

1. Try to help them identify the problem they’re facing. Maybe they’re upset over something that’s not related to the perceived problem. Listen to your friend as they talk, trying to ask questions to help them determine the real problem.

2. Avoid acting like you know what will happen next. If your friend’s going through a difficult time in a relationship, don’t tell them everything will work out. Instead, tell them “I’m available to you whenever you want to talk.”

3. Ask general questions rather than expecting them to answer questions they may not be ready to answer. “How’s it going?” is a better question than asking them if they’ve moved out of their home after a breakup.

* Let them bring up additional topics when they feel comfortable doing so.

4. Refrain from judging others. Rather than saying you’ve never trusted a particular company when your friend has just lost a large sum of money, you might want to ask, “Is there anything I can do to help?” Most likely they’ll tell you no, but will appreciate your asking.

5. Your similar situation isn’t the same as theirs. While it may be true that you’ve lost a job or a pet, it’s not the same thing as losing a loved one.

* Try to encourage your friend to think about the good times rather than their loss.

6. Acknowledge your friend’s feelings. “I understand that you were hurt by what they said. I would be hurt, too” is better than telling your friend, “There’s no reason to be upset about that.” Acknowledge and validate their feelings, and they’ll feel better.

7. Think about what your friend needs most. It may be to have someone tell them “I love you.” Try to be alert to your friend’s unspoken needs. Be reassuring when possible regardless if your friend has spoken a need or not.

8. Let others know you understand their point of view. Telling someone, “This sounds important to you” doesn’t mean you’ll go along with what they want, but at least you acknowledge what they believe to be the best solution.

9. Stay focused on the problem and don’t get dragged into a fight. If they verbally attack, don’t take the bait. “I see you’re upset, and I’m sorry. Maybe we should take a few minutes for each of us to calm down.”

It’s important to remember that no matter what the difficult situation happens to be, it’s better to listen more than talk. When you do talk, use the positive statements you find here to help you handle the conversation in a supportive and caring way.

Maurice Castle first learned about Oneness & deeksha from the Oneness University in Fiji. Oneness helps improve your relationships in life, learn more at http://OnenessBlessingFiji.com